Andre and I were the last two.
I must be very lucky.

To be the last one to have held his hand when he took his last breath of life.
It was traumatizing at first.
But I have to let go.
Of all the pain though the tears that are thick enough to stain.

Nanny.
The light of his life.
The only reason why he was holding on so tight, taking all of his energy to ask for her every single time.

Those times when he was around, asking for her,
some of those times were taken for granted.
And I'm sure at this point of time,
everyone just wants him to say "Blarrdy Bastard" or "Bullshit" one more time.

I think that what my godbrother said was true,
"Grandpa did us a last favour. Bringing the family together and bonding us."

Pointless arguments and all such things should be put aside for once.
Grandpa was never involved in such gossip and chaos.
He just kept quiet and kept it to himself.
Listening to the radio.
Sitting down at the door.
Holding onto the keys.
Just minding his own business.

And that classic blue bag he carried with him every weekend when there was a gathering at either one of my aunt's place.

I miss him calling me messy,
Cassiemessy.
He says it sounds the same and that I'm messy.
haha.
What a grandpa.

Head William Douglas.
Beautiful name huh?
sounds like a prince's name.

Hmm.
I'm sure he can have all the ice cream and chicken rice that he wants.
He can see. He can run.
He can listen to BBC all he wants.

He used to tell me the story of how a lizard dropped on his chest and how cold those tiny feet felt on his skin.

His habits at every house will always be remembered.
At every house, he has his own room, own chair and that blue bag.

A handsome man.
Nanny must had skills.
haha. to have got a catch like Grandpa.
He's always there. Around.
Making sure none of his children or grandchildren forgets anything before they leave the house.

I miss you Grandpa.

It's a phase Cassie.
Death is just a phase.
Everything will be alright.
One fine day.

I must be strong and carry on.